Mr. Pinup

JEFFERSON CITY | Sen. Matt Bartle’s eight-year quest to crack down on strip clubs and adult bookstores finally succeeded Thursday night.

The Missouri Senate voted 27-4 to ban full nudity and prohibit adult businesses from selling alcohol. The clubs also would have to close between midnight and 6 a.m.

“Most human beings understand that if you mix alcohol and women dancing in the nude, that’s a tough combo,” said Bartle, a Lee’s Summit Republican. “Bad things happen.”

via Missouri lawmakers crack down on porn industry – KansasCity.com.

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It’s totally unrealistic to expect this weekend’s Exxxotica Expo to unspool like some kind of real-life porn movie. Or is it? Indeed, the Miami Beach Convention Center will be packed with approximately 115 people who make their living by putting their privates to very graphic use on an almost daily basis. And we the mooks shall be there, too. So, let’s just pray for a little divine intervention and maybe that expectant buzz in the air will actually give birth to fits of excruciatingly bad dialogue, illogical narrative leaps, and random sex in the poorly lit corners of the convention center‘s Hall A.

In the meantime, here’s a quick and dirty list of the New Times’ five favorite porn stars scheduled to show up for Exxxotica Miami Beach.

via Top Five Porn Stars at the Exxxotica Expo – Miami News – Riptide 2.0.

Forget about receiving your MFA degree, doing an unpaid internship at a prestigious publishing house or even, you know, having any literary talent whatsoever. There’s a new and efficient way to become a published author: Sleep with a famous male celebrity! As a young writer, I dream of one day writing the next great American memoir. But it’s starting to seem that I’ll have a better shot if I aim for writing the next great American mistress memoir.

via Sleep your way to a book deal – Broadsheet – Salon.com.

LOS ANGELES – Lindsay Lohan has landed the lead role in an independent movie about 1970s porn star Linda Lovelace, one of the film’s producers said.The 24-year-old actress will play Lovelace, who shot to fame with the landmark 1972 porno movie “Deep Throat,” while Bill Pullman will portray Playboy magazine founder Hugh Hefner in the period drama, producer Wali Razaqi told The Los Angeles Times.The film, called “Inferno,” will be based on the events of Lovelace’s life and will delve into the “difficult stuff she went through and overcame,” Razaqi said.

via Producer: Lohan to star in movie about porn star – Yahoo! News.

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Toys are carefully planned investments that companies spend countless hours developing in the hopes that children will use them to foster memories that they'll cherish for a lifetime.

But sometimes, they just end up looking like dongs.

via 15 Unintentionally Perverted Toys for Children | Cracked.com.

Perhaps it’s better, ultimately, that Stormy Daniels not run for political office.

If elected to succeed Diaper David Vitter as one of Louisiana‘s U.S. senators, she’d have been constrained to representing just one geographical constituency. This way, she gets to travel the entire country spreading her message of joy, of self-reliance, of a fairer tax system and yes – of love.

“It’s a gift that I get to spread my message” to all sections of America, Daniels said after she’d finished spreading it at The Men’s Club on Yonkers Road on Friday morning.

via Senate bid was brief but inspiring – Saunders – NewsObserver.com.

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RALEIGH — Had she won, Stormy Daniels likely would have been the only U.S. senator who could perform a lap dance, lip-synch Motley Crue songs and descend a staircase in stiletto heels.

But from The Men’s Club in Raleigh, bathed in purple light and dressed as Little Red Riding Hood, the Louisiana-born sizzler announced that she would drop her bid for national office – canceling what could have been the nation’s most arousing race.

“I thought I would be accused of making a mockery of the system,” Daniels said, a stud twinkling in her cheek. “But you can be blond and sexy and … not be an idiot. For some reason, our society equates sexuality with stupidity.”

via Porn star drops bid for Senate – National – NewsObserver.com.

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He may have lost some big donors and his most important staffer, but at least GOP Chair Michael Steele can claim a new recruit in adult film star Stormy Daniels. Daniels, who has been contemplating a Senate run for David Vitter’s seat in Louisiana, is ready to make the move from lifelong Democrat to loyal Republican thanks to the latter’s good taste in bondage-themed night clubs.

via Stormy Daniels – RNC bondage club – David Vitter | Mediaite.

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One of the leading organizations advocating for sexual openness and freedom is charging the Republican National Committee with hypocrisy in the wake of revelations that a RNC staffer spent nearly $2,000 on a night at a bondage-themed nightclub.

Jeffrey Montgomery, a founding member and spokesperson for the Woodhull Freedom Foundation, who has lobbied extensively to promote the idea that sexual freedom is a human right, charged the RNC and its chairman, Michael Steele with duplicity for posturing as moral purists at the same time that they were indulging their esoteric, voyeuristic impulses.

via Sexual Freedom Group Charges RNC With Hypocrisy.

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When it comes to strip bars, anything can happen. Here is a list of six embarrassing moments that actually did.

via Embarrassing Stripper Moments – Christine Macdonald – Open Salon.

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