Having studied sexual fetishes for twenty years (which is itself a kind of fetish), I’m long past the investigation of shoes, pain, vomit and rubbing up against people on the subway. My first real job out of college was working as the circulation manager for the Spectator, a Bay Area adult-entertainment publication, which was fueled by classified advertising — often for very distinctive “services” and interests. While there, I became acquainted with a number of memorable characters: Peg Leg, a one-legged call girl with a very full dance ticket (and some remarkable prosthetic attachments); The Coach (gym shorts, silver whistle, clipboard); and a sexually ambiguous individual who just called him/herself “The Sneezer.” (I’ll let you use your imagination there.)
I’d been given a peek into a secret world, which eventually inspired a full-fledged research effort into fetishes. Having collected so many delightful anomalies over the years, I’d feel almost cruel not to share them. Here are my ten favorites.
via My Ten Favorite Fetishes – A lifelong sex researcher on his most unusual discoveries. – By Kris Saknussem – Nerve.com.
Those out-there thoughts you have when you’re in bed with your guy? The racy fantasies that float through your head at the gym? Find out what’s normal, what’s not and what’s worth sharing with him.
Almost every woman alive has been to group sex therapy. It’s called cocktails with friends, and it involves dissecting everything from bedroom dry spells to Mr. Took Two Minutes. But be honest—aren’t there some things you just won’t say, even after the second martini? “Generally, women share stuff that they feel is pretty normal, to get reassurances that friends have had similar experiences,” says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., a sex and relationship counselor in New York City. “But anything that’s morally or culturally taboo they’re not going to discuss, because there’s seemingly no benefit, only the risk of embarrassment.” Thing is, it’s good—and helpful—to get perspective on risque sex thoughts and cravings, too. So we asked readers to open up about theirs, and then we got top experts to make sense of them all. Is your secret in here?
via “The Sex Secret I ve Never Told Anyone” Sex Love & Life: glamour.com.
If you think sex surrogates have tons of wild, crazy sex with clients, you’re very mistaken.
Take it from certified sex therapist Beth Krakower, a Florida psychotherapist who counsels folks through sexual issues. She has referred some clients to sex surrogates — experts who stand in for sexual partners to help with specific problems — in her practice.
Sex surrogates (or surrogate partners, as they’re sometimes called) are trained in therapeutically teaching people about physical and sexual contact. Intercourse didn’t occur in either case Krakower handled, but, she says, misconceptions about the role and duties of sex surrogates abound.
via What’s a Sex Surrogate Really Do? – Lemondrop.
We rounded up sexual health experts to weigh in on subjects that women are often too red-faced to discuss with their gynecologists or girlfriends. Read on to get the lowdown on what’s really going on down low. And for even more sex ed, take our sexual health quiz…
via 14 Embarrassing Sex Questions – Answered! | Lifescript.com.
Men always want sex. That’s the message you hear from your friends, from talk-show experts, from TV sitcoms. Except when they don’t.
What if you find that you’re the one craving a deeper sexual connection, but he simply doesn’t want sex very often — or ever? How can you rescue your sex life? Read on for couple-tested solutions for bringing intimacy and heat back into your relationship, in this exclusive excerpt from the new book by REDBOOK Love Network expert Michele Weiner Davis.
Maybe your marriage started out on fire — you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. But somewhere along the line, your husband lost interest in sex. Or maybe the signs of his sexual sluggishness were there all along; you just assumed things would get better, but if anything, they’ve gotten worse.
via The Sex-Starved Wife.
There are a plethora of factors separating teenagers from adults. You know you’re an adult when you start practicing various combinations of adult-like things. Paying your own bills, making important decisions by yourself, working, and having sex, amongst other things, encompass adulthood.
But when you’re a teenager looking onto your sexuality from afar, you’ll believe just about anything you’re told about sex, particularly if you’re being told by someone who has actually had it. Once you merge further into your adulthood and sexuality, though, you start to realize that a lot of things you were told about sex (or made to believe in some other way) are bullsh*t.
Some of the biggest myths about sex:
via 5 Common Myths About Sex : College Candy.
My latest book is titled Dr. Ruth’s Top Ten Secrets for Great Sex (with Pierre A. Lehu, Jossey-Bass, 2009). The publishers timed it to come out around Valentine’s Day. All this is great marketing, but you know what? There really aren’t any secrets. I’m not saying that if people read this book they won’t learn ways of improving their sex life. When you’ve been a practicing sex therapist for many years and have answered people’s questions in all sorts of media for decades, you do know what to tell people when it comes to improving their sex life. But the problem is that no matter how many times you tell them, they don’t always listen. This book, and all the other ones that I’ve written and other experts have written don’t really have much in the way of new scientific advancements to reveal, but rather are filled with the same advice we’ve been repeating endlessly. But if people don’t accept that advice, then it’s no secret that many people are going to have a lousy sex life.
But since I want everyone to have terrific sex, I keep publishing books in the hopes that I’ll reach some people and get them to pay attention. Because the one secret there to having great sex is to pay attention to your sex life. If you and your partner have excellent communications and put some energy and effort into having sex, and make dates to have sex, and turn off the TV so that you have time to have sex, then you’ll have great sex. But if you think that great sex is going to tap you on the shoulder and say “Here I am,” then you’re going to have a very sad sex life.
I do have one other secret to reveal, that’s not even in the book because the research wasn’t done yet when I wrote it. If you’re an overweight male and you want to have great sex, then you must start losing that excess weight immediately.
Dr. Ruth Westheimer: Lose the Weight, Have Better Sex.
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