Posts tagged Advice
Sex Toys That Will Change Your Life / Violet Blue: Can a sex toy change your life? For many, the answer is yes
Dec 23rd
- Image by violet.blue via Flickr
Having an orgasm used to be so arduous and difficult, it’s no wonder many old people have never had one, or if they have, they seldom talk about it or tell their spawn about having one. In times of yore, before YouTube videos and electricity, rubbing one out was akin to deciding to make a trip from New York to San Francisco in a covered wagon. You could get halfway there, but if something broke down and it was winter, you might have to eat something horrifying to make it out alive. With your pants down, bandits could attack you at any moment. There were vibrators, but they were made of wood and powered by pedaling, or frightened rodents running in little exercise wheels. Everything had to be done by hand. There was no lube until 1910, so if the friction didn’t kill you, fire was always a concern. You had to use corncobs as freshwipes. People had to make their own amateur porn.
The horrors of the past are mostly behind us. Now that we’re more civilized about our sexuality, we no longer have to suffer achieving orgasms through primitive methods, carving our dildos out of root vegetables or whatever porn starlets did in caveman times. Now we have technology. Now we have plastic. We have batteries. We have bandwidth. And fortunately, we have handcuff keys.
And this has all changed the way we, er, come together. And not necessarily for the holidays. Sex toys are now, for many people, life-changing items. When I idly asked the Twitter and the Facebook what sex toys had changed people’s lives, I didn’t expect the overwhelming response; now that people are more sexually sophisticated they’ve traded shame for sexual savvy, and over a hundred people stepped right up to volunteer to me which toy, when used with amour, made their view of the world a little brighter.
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Masturbation: 5 Things You Didn’t Know
Jun 11th
Experts say that just about every man who can masturbate does — and why not? You don’t need an expert to tell you that solo sex feels good, relieves stress, and is a terrific sleep aid. But here are five things you may not know about masturbation:
1. There’s no such thing as “abnormal” masturbation.
Men often wonder if there’s something abnormal about the way they masturbate. But experts are loath to offer specific definitions of “normal” and “abnormal,” pointing out that men show great variations in both frequency and technique. “We humans are too diverse to establish a norm,” says Betty Dodson, PhD, a New York City-based sexologist and the author of Sex for One. Every man masturbates in his own way, says Martha Cornog, the author of The Big Book of Masturbation, whether he “uses his hands, rubs against something, uses a sex toy or household object, wears special clothing, fantasizes, looks at a book or magazine, tries different positions, or looks in a mirror.”
2. Masturbation is very safe — but not entirely safe.
Unlike sex with a partner, masturbation can’t give you a sexually transmitted disease. Nor will it subject you to the muscle strains, pokes in the eye, and awkward moments that can come with partner sex. But masturbation safety isn’t guaranteed. “Masturbation is just about the safest sex there is,” says Cornog. “But the laws of physics and biology don’t stop operating just because someone is masturbating.”
via Masturbation: 5 Things You Didn’t Know.
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Charlotte Hilton Andersen: Does Fitness Improve Your Sex Life?
Jun 10th
Anyhow, today’s post is going to be one of those conversations is what I’m saying. It all started when a reader asked me in the comments of one of my Bodily Functions & Fitness 101 posts how exercise affects your sex life. She then added helpfully that her sex drive went through the floor when she was working out a lot. You know I love a good over-share!
Without asking too many personal questions, let’s take a look at the research (because you know somebody somewhere got grant money to study this!):
via Charlotte Hilton Andersen: Does Fitness Improve Your Sex Life?.
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Real Women Tell Their Orgasm Secrets: Sex, Love & Life: glamour.com
Jun 8th
OK, it’s truth time: Are you an always, sometimes or never kind of girl? The women on these pages share exactly where they stand on the orgasm meter and what it took to make theirs better, much better. Listen and learn.
This is how the orgasm fairy tale goes: You meet Prince Charming, and from the very first time, he knows exactly how your body works. There’s some kissing, some foreplay, some moaning and, after maybe 10 minutes of intercourse, bam—a shattering climax for two. Angels may even sing. If your sex life fits this description, kudos. If not, this story is for you.
In reality, women are all over the orgasm map, and in an effort to improve your sex life, we asked dozens of them to reveal what they’ve learned, what they do—and what they’re not afraid to ask for. After reading some of their stories, you’ll abandon your assumptions about the way orgasms are “supposed” to happen. And you’ll stop waiting, like some damsel in distress, for a guy to magically unchain your pleasure. Turns out, of course, that you are your very own knight in shining armor, and this is your road map to a happy ending.
via Real Women Tell Their Orgasm Secrets: Sex, Love & Life: glamour.com.
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Sex Drive: How Do Men and Women Compare?
Jun 6th
Birds do it, bees do it, and men do it any old time. But women will only do it if the candles are scented just right — and their partner has done the dishes first. A stereotype, sure, but is it true? Do men really have stronger sex drives than women?
Well, yes, they do. Study after study illustrates that men’s sex drives are not only stronger than women’s, but much more straightforward. The sources of women’s libidos, by contrast, are much more difficult to pin down.
It’s common wisdom that women place more value on emotional connection as a spark of sexual desire. But women also appear to be heavily influenced by social and cultural factors as well.
via Sex Drive: How Do Men and Women Compare?.
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The Blowguard — Taking the Teeth Out of Oral Sex. Wait, What!? – Lemondrop
Jun 5th
Late-night, fuzzed-out porn, I thought. “Just wingin’ it!” I said aloud.
With that and other positive reviews since then under my belt, you’d think that there’d be no room for improvement.
Still, even a near-pro like me had my interest piqued when I heard about the BlowGuard (some NSFW stuff) — a “couples’ toy” designed to prevent teeth nicks during oral sex, while simultaneously delivering “mind-blowing” pleasure via a small, bullet vibrator.
via The Blowguard — Taking the Teeth Out of Oral Sex. Wait, What!? – Lemondrop.
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Sexual Foreplay: What’s in It for Men?
Jun 3rd
- Image via Wikipedia
Dates that end with lovemaking often begin with dining out, so that the meal itself can be seen as a form of sexual foreplay — in more ways than one. How many times has this happened to you: You take your woman out to dinner at a nice restaurant. The waiter takes your drink orders and tells you of the specials, a busboy brings you a choice of savory breads, and you get down to the business of perusing the menu. Your eye is on the right side of the page — steak? lobster? steak and lobster? — when your date announces, “I think I’ll just have a salad and a couple of appetizers.”
At this juncture you might say something like, “Are you crazy? You’ll be starving later!” But she insists she knows her appetite and enough of those little things make, for her, a full and satisfying meal.
So it is with sexual foreplay. A lot of men don’t think they’ve had sex unless they have had full-on sexual intercourse — the meat and potatoes of many men’s sex lives, if not the steak and lobster. Skeptical as they are of the nourishment value of the proverbial small plates, they tend to rush toward the entrée and insist they’re not really dining otherwise. They don’t see the value of sexual foreplay in lovemaking — the well-placed nibble and stroke, the suckle and bite — even if that is what women often want.
via Sexual Foreplay: What’s in It for Men?.
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Teens And Oral Sex, Teens Are Having Lots Of Oral Sex | The Frisky
Jun 2nd
Parents! Lock your teenagers in their rooms! Especially the girls! “Good Morning America” has discovered that blow jobs are the new goodnight kiss! All across the country, teenagers are giving head and having sex parties! It’s not just the Catholic high schoolers (who are having anal sex in order to maintain their chastity) we need to pray for—it’s every single pubescent teen who’s figured out that you can have sex using just your mouth!
- Image via Wikipedia
Sigh. Yet another morning show segment designed to scare the crap out of parents by declaring a “new” trend that’s taking our nation’s youth on downward spiral towards hell. Teens having oral sex—is it really so new? I was a late bloomer so I didn’t give my first beej until I was 19 (in a stairwell at a bar!), but what about other 20 and 30-something women? Their teenage oral sexploits, after the jump…
via Teens And Oral Sex, Teens Are Having Lots Of Oral Sex | The Frisky.
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5 Solutions for a Lopsided Libido | Lifescript.com
May 31st
Your sex life used to sizzle, but lately the heat between the sheets has turned icy. The two of you may be suffering from a case of lopsided libidos. Find out how to get back in sync sexually. Plus, rate your sex drive with our quiz…
Douglas, a 30-something physician in central Florida, remembers a time in the not-so-distant past when he had rock ‘n’ roll sex with his wife. Before they married and before their daughter was born, sex was not only frequent but inventive.
But about three years into their relationship, he noticed a marked change. Things his wife once enjoyed started dwindling and eventually were off the menu completely.
via 5 Solutions for a Lopsided Libido | Lifescript.com.
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Top 10 Striptease Tips | Em & Lo: Sex. Love. And Everything in Between.
May 29th
- Image by AFP/Getty Images via Daylife
The traditional striptease is not for everyone: some consider it the ultimate display of female sexual power, reducing male viewers to quivering bowls of jelly, while others find it embarrassing or even demeaning. One thing’s for sure: many a man truly enjoys the visual, so an erotic dance can be a generous gift. This is not to suggest that the ladies don’t like to look too. Or that a striptease can’t be a joint effort or a male endeavor — we think it should be, and often. Therefore a woman should feel free to tell her fella, “You first” or “Now your turn!” But for the sake of simplicity, the following tips are written assuming the lady in the relationship wants to be the first to perform. By the way, don’t think you need the body of a model or stripper to dance suggestively for your partner. He’ll be focused on the show, not on your so-called imperfections. You go-go girl! (Just please don’t install a pole in your bedroom.)
via Top 10 Striptease Tips | Em & Lo: Sex. Love. And Everything in Between..
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